In the last blog, we were looking at shock and the impact it can have on us, and how these events can trigger our nervous system to respond in fight-flight or freeze response. This is great, as these survival mechanisms have made us the most overpopulated species on the planet. What we also have to understand is how our mind works more deeply around these times of survival, and how we can help ourselves to reset and get back to normal. The inner parts of our mind work in a completely different way to our conscious mind. One of the biggest factors of the mind is that on an unconscious level, we don’t hold the same concepts of time as we do consciously.
The best way to see this is to imagine that you are your own solar system, and at the core of this is the planet that you exist on. We are all unique, so for all of us our solar systems are on many levels, totally different. This is because we can all live on the same planet, having different beliefs, religions, languages, and viewpoints of the world we live in. Then the rest of the solar system is made up of the experiences we have had in life and they are placed throughout this system. Where they are and how we connect with them is a complex thing, mainly governed by your primaeval mind. As your world turns, you travel from day to night, and those things we see as being close to us that we can consciously clarify, will be in our daytime orbit cycles. Whereas those things that have shocked and traumatised us, often find their way into the dark side of our planet. This is why many people can think that they are over things and not feel that those difficult times of the past are still in any way bothering them. People will clearly say, “I don’t think about that anymore, I don’t think that has any impact on how I am feeling in the now”. The thing is, yes, they are clearly correct about this as they don’t consciously connect with those events, but what about the unconscious aspects of us?
Our unconscious mind is 90% of our mind’s capacity, it holds all our habits, the things we don’t need to learn again and that we just do by unconscious automation. I love these deeper aspects of us, this part of us is like our own inner protective guardian, always looking over us and working to keep us safe. For many of us in the western parts of the world, we live life in such a safe way and often forget the depth of who we truly are. If we look at this in this solar system view, we are living in a time of constant day light and we don’t even own binoculars, let alone a telescope. We are happy just existing in this way, and don’t get me wrong, this is a great place to live when we are in the moment and feel the peace and connection to our world, but what if we are struggling with how we are feeling, and life doesn’t seem to marry up with this world that we see around us?
What if you are feeling anxious or depressed? And you look around this tiny aspect of who you are and think, why I am feeling this way? For many of us, we do this and look around and think, “This is silly, why are we anxious? There is nothing here to be afraid of, why are we doing this?”. This can then make us doubt who we are, and this can often trigger a spiral of thoughts, that over time, can become an inner dialogue that just keeps playing, like a record stuck on repeat. We can then start to search for the reasons for this, and with us not seemingly being able to find anything to account for this, we often blame ourselves. If we are in this cycle, we will be putting ourselves down and just constantly pecking at ourselves. If you have ever done this, as I have in the past lived this way, it is so draining; we just peck and peck at ourselves. Some of the things we might be saying to ourselves is, “That’s silly, why did you do that, you’re an idiot. There is something wrong with you, it’s all your fault, pull yourself together, you’re so weak”. And this list could go on, of all the things we can say that peck at us. What we are doing, is just pecking away at our confidence, we are just waring ourselves down and depleting our inner self-esteem. The more we peck, the smaller it becomes, all because we can’t find anything else to blame for why we feel this way.
What we need to do is understand ourselves on these deeper levels and find out what is at the root of our anxieties, depression, or whatever else is affecting us. But we are not going to do this by pecking away at our self-esteem, in fact that just makes things worse. What we need to do is find a new way of looking at this and help find a greater understanding of our own unique solar system. When we can see ourselves from a new perspective, it can often help us shift our standpoint and make the changes we need to move on and heal. In the next blog ‘Orbit’, we will take this to the next level of understanding to help you continue to understand the depths of who you truly are.
For now, why not try and break the pecking habit. The new rule is; if you wouldn’t say it to someone else, then you can’t say it to yourself. If one of these pecks has just slipped out, then take a mental moment to apologise to yourself and give yourself chance to start growing your inner confidence back up again. Have a great week. Sara