Listen to me

Watch me

We talked last week about trying to ride the waves of life and look for the right time to challenge yourself so that you can make the best start into trying new things. Life, as we know, can be tough at times and it can feel hard to deal with as well, sometimes we can feel that we have got ourselves stuck in the current of a big wave that we can’t seem to get free from. This can be a hard time for anyone stuck in this way, life will feel overwhelming and totally out of control for us.  We can often find we are fighting the waves and the current, only to find that we seem to be getting weaker and not feeling able to find a way out of it all. This can often be a time when we can find that we go into ourselves and just feel lost with how out of control this experience that we are going through makes us feel. I am sure all of us, unfortunately, have experienced something like this before and it is far from nice. These are the times when we need to ask for help and not just try and fight the current and the pull of the waves. We all have to accept that sometimes we do need help to get us out of these very challenging times where we are feeling ourselves drowning under the pressure of the situation we are trying to cope with. If we have been struggling under the pressure of dealing with the issue, over time it can have worn us down and this is when it can make finding a way out of this even more difficult.

If we imagine we are caught under the wave and the pull of the current that can be so strong that we don’t even know the difference between up and down. Which way will head out to sea and which way it is to the safety of the shore? This is often how we can feel if we are being overwhelmed by what is happening and how we cannot seem to see a way out or even know which way we should go to try to go to help ourselves through this. What we have to do when we are at this point is to ask for help, as what we need to do it to talk things through. If we have been stuck in the washing machine effect of the waves then we need someone to help us see things in a more grounded way. This may seem simple to see these things in a different way when we’re not trapped in an overwhelming situation, but when we are being pulled into the issue at such an extreme level, we are now more than likely will not be as grounded as we would normally be. Also, with these types of hard and challenging situations, there is often lots of fear which will also impact your ability to stay grounded. If we are not grounded then it is hard to make choices and decisions from a comfortable place, this is because the fear and confusion will be clouding our judgement. The fear will also be creating more fear around the process of decision making, as our inner primeval mind hates making mistakes when it’s in a life or death situation. Our minds will just want to protect us and will sometimes in these high stress and fearful situations just keep us frozen in fear. This is the worst outcome for us as if we can’t work away out of the situation, we are just stuck in the horrible washing machine wave of fear and stress.

This is why we need to talk, maybe a family member or friend or a therapist, preferably someone who is not involved in the situation, as it’s time to find someone else’s grounded support to allow us to take stock of what is happening for us. With someone listening and talking to us, as they are not holding the fear or stress over what we are going through, they can maybe help us find the right direction to go in. Talking can help us deal with the issue in a new way, it’s no longer in our head which makes a big impact on how we can think through these issues and challenges. Also, for a moment we can see a more rational view of the situation and this is the time to do our best to take the fear and confusion out of what is happening to allow us to deal with it in a more grounded way.

“A problem shared is a problem halved”

This is a great thing to remember when you are feeling trapped under the emotional wave of an issue you are dealing with. Also, researchers in California found that the best way to help you while in a stressful situation is to share your feelings with someone. They measured the participants stress hormone cortisol levels and found that the group who had the opportunity to talk about their fears before they did their speech were calmer than the other group who didn’t talk before doing the speech. This is great to see how the body can positively react to talking about things and now is your time to do this.

Another great thing about talking to someone will be that you won’t feel so on your own with the issue and maybe even learn someone else’s opinion might help us find more solutions to help us through these difficult times. Don’t keep locked in the cycle of being trapped under the wave of the situation ask for help.

Thanks for dropping by Sara x

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