Last week we looked at how things can pull you under and cause you to feel like you’re trapped, feeling out of control in the waves like a washing machine spinning. This is the time to ask for help and start to talk to friends, family or even someone like myself. Always remember that a problem shared is a problem halved. Another good way to help you when life seems to be making you feel out of control is to learn to stop and take stock. If we let things run riot in our minds then we are going to cause lots of anxiety within our minds and our bodies. Sometimes we just won’t have the time to talk to someone, or they just won’t be available to talk with us, but we are still trying to deal with one of these situations which seem to be spinning us out of control. If this is the case then we often will have the time to just press our own inner and outer pause buttons. If this happens when you on the phone to someone then you could say sorry can I just call you back I have an urgent message just come through? Or maybe you’re in a meeting so maybe you could just pop to the toilet. Or maybe it’s just been an overwhelming morning, then maybe instead of trying to push yourself to do your work through your lunch break you could pop out for a quick walk.
Whatever the situation just stopping for a moment could change the direction you have been going in and help you take stock to deal with things in a better way. In this moment of pause, you need to either grab a pen and paper or just use your phone or even just think about things. The first two are better options as they help you get out of your head, doing just this alone can help you reduce and take down some of those inner fears. Our mind can just grow with the worry when things feel overwhelming and out of control, by getting it out of our minds then it can help to bring us back to a calmer place. Often things can be blown out of proportion in our minds and many situations it can seem more overwhelming when we overthink things and they then spiral into the worry and what if habits of thinking.
With this moment of pause you can start to rationalise the situation, here are some ideas of the things you can say to yourself
- Is this a life or death situation?
- Can I change this?
- Is this really my responsibility?
- Am I being asked to do too much?
- Am I overreacting to this?
- Am I being rational?
- Can I solve this?
- Is someone putting their issues onto me?
- Can I say NO to this?
- Should I say NO to this?
- Is there a better way to deal with this?
- What else can I do to help resolve this?
After you have considered these questions and any more that you might have, about how you might be seeing the situation. This can be a great way to start to see things in a new way. Even if you can’t solve it then it’s important to put things in perspective doing this can often be the thing we need to change how we have been feeling over this. Often things seem more overwhelming because of the feeling we are holding and the worries we are carrying. If we can let the emotions move to a better place then you will feel better, a pause can be all that we need to help those fears and emotions drop down a bit and to give us a chance to breathe. If things aren’t life or death then we often don’t need to respond in the ways we do. It’s time to understand that those reactions are not necessary it’s just that primeval part of your mind playing up. This is because for most of us we don’t have any real-life or death events to deal with so our primeval mind then puts these feelings to the most stressful things we have in our lives.
Taking the time to stop and get the situation out of your mind can often be the key to change. As we all know we dream weird and wonderful things and can often wake holding lots of feeling to things that are not real or rational. Also, we know just watching a horror movie can produce internal anxiety and get us sitting on the edge of our seats, yet we know we are very safe on our sofa at home. Our mind in those moments doesn’t see that it’s something that isn’t real and just starts the internal, physical and emotional reactions. If we stop for a moment it like stopping in the middle of a run our heart rate won’t stay at that high level it will instantly start reducing down. This is exactly what will happen with our internal anxiety feelings, if we stop the washing machine spinning and the overthinking, then we start the process of thinking more clearly than our anxiety levels will naturally start to reduce.
Always remember it doesn’t take much time to change how we are feeling, literally in just in a few moments we can change how we are feeling and reduce those emotions and anxieties. Say stop to yourself and change how you are dealing with things.
Thanks for dropping by, Sara x