Listen to me

Watch me

We were looking at how we juggle our lives last week and how to drop the plastic things that won’t break, so we are able to concentrate on the things that are glass that needs our attention. One of the things which often gets pushed to the bottom of the pile is ourselves and today we want to look at the impact this can have on us and how we can find ways to positively support ourselves. If we think about the analogy of juggling there are times when we will be plastic and we can drop ourselves out of the equation but if we do this all the time, we will eventually become glass and break. We can’t take the back seat over things forever and we need to know this and find ways to help positively support ourselves. Sometimes it can be just those smaller things that we can need in those busy times to feel more self-supported. Things like just being able to get to the gym or sit down for a coffee or pop and meet up with a friend, all of these can be enough to help us feel that we are being supported. What we can often do though is keep dropping ourselves out of the equation ‘oh it’s only the gym we can skip it, we can fit it in another day, our friend will understand we will do it another time’. We can start making lots of excuses why we can drop ourselves out of the equation and then if we’re not careful this can become a habit of doing this. Then before we know it, we are starting to forget to even include us in in the first place and being honest it’s a very slippery slope from thereon. This is when we can end up breaking if we’re not careful, as we normally only have to drop things when we are overloaded with things to do.  This is not going to help us as without our supports to help our wellbeing over time will it will cause us to break.

Now is the time to take stock of your life and see that you are included in the equation and that you can add time in for you. Whether it be exercise, meditation, time for a long bath, fun times with friends or just time to sit and relax with a good book are some of the ideas. But you must find the things which make you feel the happiest and help you to switch off from the frantic life of juggling all the other things in your life. The first thing to do is to make a list of at least 10 things that you can do from things that take just a few minutes to things that could take up a few hours. Making a list is a good way to reflect on what makes you happy and what things you have been missing out on to juggle the rest of the things in your life. Then it’s time to put yourself more in the equation and start finding that time for you to support yourself. Always remember that you wouldn’t be able to do anything without yourself being there and you being in a good place, so it is very important to take care of your wellbeing.

Sometimes we can feel guilty about looking after ourselves, as we feel that other people’s needs are more important than ours. It’s indeed good to take care of others, but we have to put ourselves on the same level as the other people we care for. If we don’t, we will let ourselves get worn out with the pressure of life, then we won’t be able to juggle anything at all and that is much worse than stopping and giving ourselves some time and some space just for you. This lack of personal support left unchecked over time can have terrible effects on people and can be why people have breakdowns or end up unable to even function for a while. This is not a great situation for us to get into but also this won’t help all the other people and things you have been working so hard to keep up with. Sometimes we do have to accept that there are too many things to juggle and we have to say no or let things go and it’s important to know that this is ok. If we don’t have enough time, and we have kept trying to make everything fit then we just have to accept this isn’t going to work. We can’t knit any more time for ourselves and that being the case, we have to just ask for help or say no to things. Never see this as failing, as it is not at all, it is about being a realist and putting things in perspective and that’s a good thing, not a bad thing. 

As we learn to understand these limitations in life then we can become a better version of ourselves as we can then deal with things in a better way, be more open to accepting the limitations time and life can have and learn to have the confidence to say no.  This in turn will allow us to be less bothered about what people think and become more realistic about time and what we can do in this space that we have. Life is like a juggling act but putting ourselves into the picture will allow us to be better at balancing life out and ultimately, we will be better at juggling things too.

Thanks for dropping by Sara x

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