Can we all change? Can we change if we fear that we can’t? Can we change if our partner wants us to? Can we change if we have to or if we don’t want to? Well, let’s look at this as sometimes we are trying to change and we are just wasting our time as it’s something we don’t want to do. If this is the case, we can be very happy to say no it didn’t work, we couldn’t do it, it wasn’t meant to be. It is never really about can we, it’s more about do we want to, that is the key to change. Even if we are afraid, we can change that, isn’t going to stop you changing it may mean though, that you have to work a bit harder at change. This is because you have to work through those beliefs that you can’t change before you can then work on the issues you are wanting to change. If you are struggling to change then it’s time to start asking yourself some of these questions above to help see if there are things that are limiting you being open to change.
Being open to change is the key and this doesn’t mean we know we can do it or that we are not afraid of what change will bring either. We do live our lives with much more possibilities to change than ever before in our existence as a species, to live our lives to the best and fullest we can. That is such a great thing to have all these possibilities but also this can seem a bit mind-blowing when we need to choose the direction, we want to move in. Sometimes we don’t even have to know where we want to go, we just have to know we don’t want to stay where we are, but if this is the case it is still good to start looking at the possibilities. Being open to move and change within ourselves will be easier if we can see where we want to go because this is great for our minds, as at a deeper primeval level, our minds don’t really like change. This is because if we are safe and alive where you are why risk changing? These are the old patterns most of our minds hold onto, moving some of these limiters will allow our inner minds to be much more open to change.
There are times when we may be wasting our time in trying to change, this is when we don’t want to but maybe our partner wants us to, or our boss or parents. This will make it very hard to change as our minds will feel that we are being pushed to change and this could be not in our best interests or not safe for us. Most of the time this isn’t the case and the people that love us only want the best for us and are maybe seeing us not reaching our true potential which is why they want to help us change. Or maybe we’re doing things which are harming us or our lives and health, things like smoking, drugs, alcohol or we have unhealthy friends or other bad lifestyle choices. Often, we waste our time as we are not looking at the right things to change, but we just keep trying to let go of a bad habit instead of working on allowing us to open up to change. The way forward would be to look at the issues of why we don’t want to do it and work towards getting to the bottom of this dilemma first. We are much more complicated than we think and just because we feel resistance, which we can often choose to own this or deny what the truth is that we carry beneath the surface.
Here an example I help lots of people to stop smoking and there are lots of these people will have tried and failed before coming to see me. Maybe a third of them are stuck with an early learned belief system that isn’t even theirs but they have learnt them as a child. These old beliefs have become the limiters that stop them from being fully open to change, one common one is that they may just be following in their parents’ footsteps. If we look at how our minds work, we can see the analogy of our mind like a massive library holding all our experiences, some are easy to access, some well-ordered and labelled whereas other are hidden or stored in the wrong place. With our early learning, it is even more complicated than this as our first 0 to 6 years, these memories are stored in a completely different way to the rest. This is because we are all a blank canvas and we need to build the library before we can add the books. That is why we all recall information in different ways, some of us are visual, some auditory, some more sensory. This will ultimately mean the layouts of all of our library’s need to be different so that we can store our lives in ways that work for who we are as individuals. This being the case our early years need to be seen as the library layout and the shelves we have made to store our experiences on, the books that we store on the shelves as we grow older are our later experiences. If we have grown up in a smoking family our minds with have made shelves to house the habits and connections to smoking. This of course can go either way, maybe we fill them will all the things we hate about smoking or we fill it with all the habits of smoking. If we are then trying to change by giving up smoking guess what we can end up with? Well, it’s a void within us as the shelves would feel empty without the habits of smoking so we feel empty without the habit.
This is why it’s important to acknowledge these things and start to get our minds on our side and realise we don’t have to follow in our parent’s footsteps we can carve out our future. This is a great way to start exploring our inner openness to change by looking at what we would have been conditioned into believing our lives have to hold. Of course, we can change these things and hypnosis is one of the most powerful tools that will enable you to do this. Allowing our minds to remove those shelves in your internal library then help you let go of the habit will mean that you won’t have those voids which had limited your ability to be fully open to change and stopping smoking.
This is the same for any habit or old behaviours you are holding onto, so take the time to understand what you want to change, what your early learned habits might still be limiting you and you will be a better place in helping yourself to be fully open to change. Thanks for dropping by Sara x