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Safe

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Today we are looking at ways to keep you feeling safer inside and how this can make a massive impact on anxiety and stress levels. At the moment our health and external safety is our priority because of this pandemic sweeping the world, but let’s not forget how important our internal safety is. If we don’t feel safe inside, we will always feel anxious about whatever we are doing. You might think this is a sweeping statement but actually, it’s not at all. Learning to feel safe inside is the key to feeling safe in every situation. Of course, this doesn’t mean at times we won’t feel anxious or scared because life is never always the same, challenges and crises like what we are in at the moment rock us to the foundations of who we are and this is ok.  So, if you are not feeling 100% at the moment this is totally normal, it is time to allow ourselves to see this and to also see it as something separate from maybe all the other stuff we are working on. Allowing this separation of things is a good way to look at things at the moment. Because if we add it all together it can become overwhelming for us all and will not help either of the issues that we are trying to work on. So, if we get into habits of feeding this lack of safety inside of us then we can find that even just doing the everyday things can start to feel uncomfortable. This is because we not only have anxiety and insecurities with the things we have and have been working on but we also have all the present-day stuff too.

Your mind is so very simple in how it sees things it has just black and white, they are no grey areas in our mind, what your mind has to do is to place it in one or the other. Just think about this if you don’t believe that your safe then your mind won’t either so trying to send a message to ourselves when we don’t believe it won’t be working. Some of the key reasons we cannot feel safe is that we keep telling ourselves we aren’t safe by these reversed suggestions and denial over how we truly feel. These can present in many different ways and here are a few of them you might be experiencing, maybe it is just generalised worry, or you could be asking for lots of reassurance, maybe you find yourself needing lots of comfort blankets to feel safe or you could be beating ourselves with a stick when anything goes wrong.  We can be doing one of these or even all of them on different levels, all of them will be causing us to feel anxious and in turn feel unsafe. If you know you’re doing some of these things then now is the time to STOP and think about the messages you have been sending to yourself. They are not nice or needed, you are scaring yourself with them and making you feel afraid, worried and anxious. Here’s a good rule of thumb to use when you are considering whether you should be thinking, doing or saying this to yourself, if you wouldn’t treat other people like this, then please STOP doing this to yourself.

Now is the time to change that inner dialogue and start the process of feeling more safe and secure inside. A good way of doing this is by setting up your own negative jar, like a swear jar, and when you catch yourself doing any of these things you put some money or even just a token in a jar or add it to a notebook or notes on your phone. This has many positive effects for us, firstly it’s a great visual thing for us to look and see, just how many times in a day, a week or even a month we are sending those negative insecure messages to ourselves. Secondly, for each time you add something to the jar, if you can at the time, you need to stop and apologies to yourself, just like if we have said something out of turn to someone else. Now is the time to own up those negative habits and thoughts, this will help your mind to learn that you don’t want or even need them.  Thirdly just doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the first signs of madness so this new way of dealing with things and is radically different to what you have been doing by just swallowing them all down, it will help your mind change more easily as well. Fourthly it’s a great distraction from whatever has worried you enough to have had to behave in this way and hopefully it will give you enough time to help your anxiety levels shift and start to come down.

At the end of the day, you can count these up and give yourself a minute of positivity for each token or coin in the jar or notes. This could mean using one of the hypnotherapy recordings, reading a blog, have a bath with some relaxing music, doing a yoga routine or just taking that time to think about all the positive things about yourself. As you work through this on a day to day basis you are choosing to reframe those bad internal thought processes and those negative insecure connections to yourself and set new and positive things in its place. Over time your mind will listen to the new messages and help you develop more of that inner safety inside of you.

Thanks for dropping by Sara x

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