This blog I dedicate to Helen. Life can seem like an uphill challenge and with it can come the complete draining on who we are and how we see ourselves. Over time we can lose the inner strength to feel able to continue as life and its challenges seem to be getting the better of us. This I feel happens to all of us at times and this is happening to many of at the moment, as emotionally we can struggle to keep going when we are up against such tough times. We can in these times often look like we doing ok, but the inner picture can often not marry up with the outer one. So why would that be then, if we look like were coping then why aren’t we? If we look strong then why don’t we feel it? If we are a survivor then why do we feel like we are losing? All of things thoughts and feeling can be impacting how we feel inside and because of this we are sending mixed messages to ourselves.
Our mind doesn’t enjoy mixed messages it often doesn’t know what to do with them, where should it put it? In a place of strength or weakness? This conflict we can be experiencing will stop us from truly seeing the strength of who we are. All our hard work to change will be lost in these moments, as our mind just doesn’t have an option, when it has mixed messages it will just using the default mode. For many of us that struggle to stay strong inside and out the default mode in often set in insecurity, fear, lack of safety, low self esteem etc. This could be because these are the default patterns, that were placed in our mind at the foundational level of who we are, for many of us we might be saying we didn’t put this there where has it come from? These can go right back to our early learning and have been imbedded in the foundations of who we are. If we look at this as a metaphor the foundations are what we build ourselves on just like the foundations we have under a house. We might not always see this, as the house, but without the foundations the house will not stay standing for long. So actually, the foundations are the most important thing in who we are, for many of us on the journey of change and personal development we are changing at the foundational level but it does take time. But in situations like we’re going through we are rocked right to the core of who we are and sometimes these early foundations don’t mirror who we have truly grown into.
This I feel is very true for most of us on one level or another, but it’s not often we are challenged at these levels and thankfully so. What we need to do in these times is find the foundations that are strong to base our thinking on and also, we need to send positive messages to ourselves to help support the changing of our default setting to the new positive ones. What we want our minds to do, is to truly believe we are strong not just act strong, but to have that inner strength to know that we can get through this. A good way to remind ourselves of who we are is to take time and remember the things that have come from this place of strength and keep sending those messages back into our mind. Over time our mind will reset the old negative insecure default setting to a new one of safety, and security, this will enable you to not only have that outer strength but also to feel it inside too. Most of this resetting happens when we are sleeping so a good way to help this process is to give yourself a daily 15-minute positive meditation before you go to sleep.
Plan this, take time to remember the positive, strong, confident times in your life, don’t think these have to massive events, our mind doesn’t measure things in the way that we do so every event count, even what might seem an insignificant thing can often be great at strengthening us. The way to measure it, is by how it felt to achieve this, if it came with a great feeling no matter how big or small the event, it is then a perfect thing to go on your list. Try and find as many as you can and take time each day to add new ones to your list, then at bedtime just spend a few minutes on 5 of them and just relieve them again in your mind. Remember all the good feelings that came with it and make the memories as strong as you can then at the end just say to your mind this is who I am, these are the experiences that define me, I am strong inside and out.
Remember if you go to the gym once you’re not going to pop out as super woman after just that one visit, but if you have been going every day for a month you will start to feel and see the difference. Your mind is one of the biggest muscles in your body so dedicate the time every day to exercise it into positive change. For your computer mind that holds all the defaults it’s all about input and output so over time what you continue to put into your mind will then eventually start getting put back out to you. How often have we listened to a song or a theme tune and have caught ourselves thinking it or humming it when we don’t even like it! It’s just our mind trying to help us, what we send to ourselves will return tenfold. Now is the time to find your inner strength on every level and feel it form the inside out.
Thanks for dropping by Sara x