We looked in the last blog about saying no to others and making our lives more balanced by the natural tug-of-war of relationships and life. This blog wants to explore the more internal self-desires and limiters to saying no. I think we can all say yes to the fact that, at times, we do things that we really want to say no to but end up doing anyway. This could be eating that chocolate bar, having that glass of wine, succumbing to drugs, take pain killers, porn or sex addictions, smoking, vaping, buying clothes and overshopping for things. These are just a few of the things we do that we say to ourselves that we should say no to but then we end up doing. Why is this? Why do we do this to ourselves? There are probably lots of different reasons that have led us to this point but for many of us, at the root of this, is that we don’t feel we are in control and can say no. As we grow up, we are learning lots of habits and beliefs in life and these can still be ways that we continue to live our lives. This is great for many of them, who would want to wake up every day and have to learn how to walk, drive the car, talk, eat, understand English, and know how to use all those things we have in our lives, which make our lives so much easier than we have ever had before in the history of our development. From the phones, washing machines, hoovers, dishwashers, heating, irons and all the other stuff in this endless list of things we have now in our homes and workplaces. This is the pleasure of our unconscious mind, that over time it learns these habits and then we can do them without much effort at all.
This is brilliant for positive habits but not great at all for negative ones. All those things we end up saying yes to when we really want to say no to can be causing us lots of stress, and if these are very out of control, they can even be life-threatening for us. Let’s think about the things we should say no to; no one is pushing that chocolate bar into our mouths, and we don’t want those 300 or 400 calories either, we know we like the taste but is it worth eating that chocolate bar? How long does it last, what, a minute, maybe two minutes, and for many of us not even that, and then we have to live with the issues that those excess calories cause for us. This is the same for all the things we should say no to, buying those clothes we don’t need, taking drugs and smoking can all come with the same pull to do it even when we know we don’t want to do it. So why can’t we just say no? We can, but for many of us we just feel that we can’t, and this is often why we don’t.
Our internal belief system is at the bottom of this and pulls us down these negative roots, and sometimes for people we can end up in a loop that just stops us from living our best lives and at the extremes of this can cost us our lives. I think we can and do make changes to our lives and let go of those old habits that we carry. But I believe that we have to also let go of those old belief systems that we carry making us think that we can’t say no, we are not in control, we have to do these things, and all those other negative beliefs. After 29 years of working as a clinical hypnotherapist, I have seen many different people with a whole array of different habits, and we have worked to clear the route issues of those habits and beliefs that they can’t say no, and we have changed their lives. We can change anything we choose to; we just have to get our minds on our side and make the changes to the deeper parts of our mind and our unconscious mind. Hypnotherapy and EMDR are brilliant in helping your mind change and allowing you to be the one that is fully in control of all that you do. Instead of just wanting to do things and never achieving these things, choose to say no to this and change today.
On the app, there are lots of hypnotherapy sessions, EMDR, therapy sessions, meditation and relaxation for you to use at home and help you make the changes you need. You know now is the time to change that belief from not feeling able to say no to yourself, to being the person that is fully in control and saying no whenever we choose; this is the first step to