Broken

Anxieties, panic attacks, and severe worrying can take time for us to fully recover, and it is important to own this. If we don’t acknowledge the process of breaking out from bad habits into new ones, we can get pressurised by our inner thought processes. If we think just after one day, or one week, or one month, that it will be gone forever, then I think we are living in denial over this. Our minds are like massive computers and reprogramming them takes time because we have to forget the habits to fully put them behind us. What won’t work is when we are saying to ourselves it is over, we are better, it’s never going to happen again. This is not a positive affirmation; for most of us it sets us up for a fall, because we will all get anxious from time to time, and this is ok.

I like to use this analogy with my clients as it can help them see the process of recovery that your mind will take. If you imagine that you have broken your leg and the pain that this can cause us, this is like those breakdown moments we can have with severe anxiety – we just get to the moment, and something seems to break within us. We then can’t seem to hold back the floodgates of fear, worry and anxiety any more. This is often when we might need to reach out for help from a professional in the field to help us on our path to recovery. The first thing we do with a broken leg is to get it fixed back together, and this is what a good therapist will help you do – to help you understand what has been happening and give you the support you need to fix this. If you imagine that your therapist is like the plaster that is set around your leg giving you the support you need to heal from the inside out.

After we have gotten to the bottom of why we got to that breaking point, then the healing process is well on its way. Just like with a broken leg, the plaster doesn’t stay on forever, a few weeks is often all we need, to do that deep healing of our bones. Then after that, we have to get that plaster off and learn to walk again and develop the strong muscles we need for this task. This is the same for your emotional recovery too, we can feel weak and insecure after an emotional breaking point and the strength we used to have may have wasted away. Remember it is ok, your mind is a big muscle, and just like your leg it can be exercised to grow the muscles and develop the strength you need to make a full recovery. After you have had the plaster off you often will have crutches, again this can be seen as your trusty therapist giving you that support to help you find your feet again.

Now we all know that after breaking your leg you are not going to go off and run a marathon and the same is said for our mind’s recovery too. Don’t rush off expecting too much of yourself but also don’t not move forward either. Steady steps are the key to recovery just like that broken leg, we need to exercise them to get the muscles back to their old levels of strength. The same is said for our minds too and after a few weeks with the crutches, we can often feel more confident to start walking unaided. This is when your therapist will be asking you to push yourself a bit more each day and week, to get life into a secure strong place. At this point a plan can help, a small new challenge every day and one bigger one each week. You can make a list and choose the easiest challenges first, to help you develop that newfound strength and confidence.  If we don’t push ourselves then we will end up not fully recovering, this is the same for a broken leg or mind.  As you grow stronger you can feel able to walk further, get back to the gym or do those lightweight hobbies you used to enjoy. This is the same for your mind, start with small steady steps to feel comfortable with getting your life back to normal.

Never forget though, like a broken leg, you could go for weeks and feel just great, then you could overdo it or just wear yourself out and you can feel a negative twinge occur. This is normal, and a bit of rest could be all your leg needs to get back into the recovery process again. Your mind is the same, so if you do have those twinges of anxiety or worry, or maybe you just have a bad day – this is ok – it’s not the end of the world, it’s just the natural process of recovery. Over time you will continue to spend more time forgetting about it completely. Always remember that we are not being brainwashed to forget things and it will always be a time in our lives that we had. But we remember it as something that happened, not that is happening and that we all have ups and downs and feel better some days more than others. The past is over, and the future isn’t here yet, so live for today and embrace your experiences from a place of peace and calm. Sara