We have been looking at ways to help keep us in a positive place and how we can do things to help keep our mood upbeat. Today let’s look at something else we can do to help us stave off negativity and keep us feeling more positive, even in times of difficulty. We have looked at a way to limit and reset ourselves around negative times and experiences but what if we are going through a really hard time, what then? We all have to accept that life can be hard at times and that we can’t change that but what we can change is how we choose to deal with it. What we have to keep clear in our minds is that if we can’t change or alter something, that overthinking about it or worrying about it won’t help, it will just make things worse. This being the case it’s time to find ways to support ourselves through these difficult times, as often we need extra strength and positivity in these times of challenge. Of course, we do have to accept the reality of what is happening and, in some situations, this can be an emotional roller-coaster. But if we get stuck in that low negative headspace, constantly wondering and thinking of the “what-ifs”, then we are going to find that we will limit our ability to support ourselves and others in these times of challenge.
If for example, we are worried about our job and whether we are going to be made redundant, this is, of course, a worrying thing that will impact how we feel. But if we spend every day with these feeling of fear and foreboding, it won’t stop us from losing our job or finding a new one if this is the case. All it will do is negatively impact how we feel and how we cope with these challenges. To help us navigate uncertain waters we need to set a limit on how much negative time we give to these situations. If we use the job fears as an example, in these situations we have to divert our minds into the things that will help us navigate the situation in more positive ways. We could ban ourselves from the over worry and limit the negative fear that we would have otherwise been absorbing into us, with that constant worry. Often a mantra that we can repeat to ourselves if we catch ourselves worrying can help, it could be something like “we choose to live for today”, or “worry doesn’t work” or “we can cross that bridge if we come to it”. Again, these mantras need to be made to suit how you feel about the situation and using the best words that most resonate with you.
Our mind is very good at going back over unresolved and uncertain things that are happening in our life, as our minds are always chasing that never achievable guarantee in life. This being the case when we have repeated our mantra a few times to ourselves, then we need to distract ourselves away from the worry and fear. If we make a list of things we can do, to do this, it will help. Make the list in sections, in the car we can sing songs, listen to a talking book, learn Spanish or call a friend or family member for a chat. If it is for the list for us to use at work, we need another set of things, as for most of us it wouldn’t go down well if we are chatting to friends all day on the phone, on this list it could have just being focused on our work, as this will help the time pass quickly. With our work list, it will depend greatly on what we do, if we can use headphones, there are lots of things we can put in place like the driving list. If not, we can count backwards in our heads, replay our favourite songs in our minds or visualise a lovely time with family and friends.
At home, we could have lots of things we enjoy doing from time playing games with the family, to setting a new decorating goal in the house or just finding a good series you enjoy watching on TV. The final time is when we are in bed as this can often be a time that our mind is left to its own devices and can run riot with worry. On this list, we could have hypnotherapy recordings, a book, a talking book, mediation or even classical music. The key with these times is that we have it all planned and at hand otherwise we will fear disturbing our partner or not want to get out of bed into the cold to get the things we need.
Now we have a way to keep our negative worry mind at bay we can also take time to work to face the situation and look for solutions. We can give ourselves say 15 minutes a day to brainstorm the issue, with the fear of losing our job then we could look at our finances and how best to navigate the worst- case scenario. This could include getting expert advice and looking at benefits and support that could be available to us. We could look at all options for new jobs and update our CV, we could register on job sites and keep a check of the jobs coming up. It is important to not spend hours doing this as that can trigger our worries. Also don’t just think through these things, put pen to paper and each time we come to our 15-minute brainstorming time, we can then add to what we have already written down. Brainstorming will not only help us find ways to navigate difficult times, it will also send a clear message to our mind that we are strong and choose to face these things without worry and fear.
Thanks for dropping by Sara x