We all have to understand that we are not in control of life and never have been, we have for the last few decades felt that we have been though. But this is not the case, it’s more of an illusion and mirage type effect, about how we look at our lives and our futures. If we have things in place then we can feel that life is moving in the ways that we want and that we are in control of this, maybe we see going to university as our next step or we are at the other end of our working life and we see retirement as our next step. We can also have events planned and things in our diaries which give us the illusion of being in control of our destiny. Which of course to a certain extent is true, as we are the ones that choose to go to university or set a date to retire, we book holidays and meals out and plan things to do in our lives. This is the part that we do have our free will and choice to decide on the things that we want to do, but even with these, we have limiters. If we can’t afford to live without working then we can’t retire, if our friends aren’t available then we can’t meet them for dinner. But things like the pandemic shows us that we aren’t in control at all and life can take a different course at the drop of a hat.
For many of us, this can feel hard, as we can feel powerless and maybe we are feeling out of control with our lives, it can also make some of us worry or even more anxious than we were. Feeling out of control of our lives can trigger many different emotional responses as well and can have a massive impact on our mood and mental health. What we need to do is to change our perspective over this and start to see that we weren’t even in control of life in the first place. This can allow us to move to a better place of personal acceptance, like a positive submission of what we can’t change. To enable us to do this we first have come to terms with that fact that we have never had this level of control in our lives and that its ok to accept this. This is not just for some people it’s for all of us and it’s not something we have to fear either as it is just an inevitable thing in life. We all have to accept that none of us knows what the next second will bring and that we all have to just trust and step and see where things take us. What can happen is that especially in uncertain times like this is that we end up bouncing up and down with the roller coaster of what-ifs and this will not help, it will make us feel worse.
If we imagine life like a bouncing ball, if we climb on board and go up and down with every bounce, we will most certainly start to feel sick, not be grounded, lose our bearings and at the worst not even know where is up and where is down.
This is what we feel like if we start to try and control the uncontrollable bounce of life, it doesn’t help, it just disempowers us. If we take the time to stop trying to control the incontrollable then we will no longer be on the ball, we will be watching the ball. Times like we are experiencing at the moment mean that the ball is being bounced on a very uneven surface and we have no idea what direction it’s going to hit the ground and spring away to. But that’s ok we just don’t know at the moment what to expect and if we accept this then we can watch and adjust our lives as best we can to the bounce of the ball of life. It’s not easy for anybody in these unsettled times but not being on the bouncing ball and having your feet on the ground will put us in the best possible place that we can be in under the circumstances.
If you feel you are bouncing around on the ball of life and feeling the negative impact this is having on your wellbeing then now is the time to change and stop this. Initially, we can sometimes feel unsure about stepping off the ball as we have mentally decided that we have to try and control where it bounces and that being on the ball is the only way to do this. Always remember whether you are on the ball or not, you’re not controlling anything about how it bounces, it is purely down to where it lands and where it will land is down to many things. The wind could be blowing the ball off the course you had expected to go in or it could land on a bump on the ground and rickshaw off in almost an unfathomable way. This is life, we just don’t know and it’s time to accept this and get your feet back on the ground. If we have been feeling out of control with life then take time to go for a walk or do a relaxation session or plan a fun night in with a family member or even plan something online. We can also talk to the people around us or a professional to help us take stock of how we are feeling and find that new perspective, not on the bouncing ball and move back onto the ground.
The biggest step of all with this is the acknowledgement that we aren’t in control of our lives and that is ok, as it is the same for everyone. We don’t need to be afraid and feel every bump of the bouncing ball of life we just need to step off and watch instead, we can then start to feel ourselves feeling more connected and grounded. If you know of anyone that is struggling in this way, do share this blog and help them get off the bouncing ball of life and get them to find a more grounded place.
Thanks for dropping by Sara x