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We have been looking at how best to help ourselves in those hard times that can come our way in life and being strong to challenge ourselves, yet having that softness of self-love are too key things we need in dealing better with hard times. Now its times to consider how in these difficult times we can lose our ability to be decisive and then we can get trapped in a circle of fear, indecision and insecurity. We have to be honest none of us knows what the future will bring and we’re not fortune tellers either. This being the case then it’s time to make sure that we are finding that inner safety and security to help is move through these times in a calm and decisive way. Life doesn’t come with a manual or a map to guide to that perfect place in our lives and if we get stuck in indecision then this won’t help us to move forward, it will just become part of the problems in not moving through those hard times in ways that would really serve us. I hear lots of people say if I knew I would be ok, if I knew everything would work out, I would be ok, if I knew that it would be safe, I would be ok, these all lead us back to fear not feeling safe and secure inside.  Searching for something we will never truly be able to have like the view into the future through a crystal ball showing what life will bring. We can never have this so stop searching for it as it won’t make us happier or help us to make better decisions and choices in our lives, it will just make us more anxious.

Being stuck in this loop of needing the answers before feeling safe to move forward is a crippling way to live and it’s time to break the circle and step into a place where we can develop our own inner safety and security. The first steps in doing this is accepting we don’t have the answers and in fact there is no right or wrong way, there is only your way in moving forward. Being sure about things is a great feeling it give us that strength and confidence within ourselves and allows us to live and embrace the moment in a more calm, confident and positive way. Of course, with the bigger issues it is harder to find that security in being secure that we can move forward with confidence, but often if we can break a situation down, then we can find the smaller things we can be sure about. Most situations aren’t like shall we turn right or left they are way more complex than that and taking the time to find the things we can be confident in will be the first steps in standing back and looking at the bigger picture. If there are more yes’s then no’s over something then this can be a guide to help us take that first step and turn that corner in our lives.

Do remember with many things that even if we have to say, take the left turn just like on a journey, it doesn’t mean that we are stuck forever driving in that direction. We could do a U turn or take a left, left and left again and end up heading in the opposite direction to the first turning we took. Sometimes we just have to move forward with the issue and not just be totally focused on the fear about the direction we choose to take, it is more about just starting the process of moving forward. Imagine yourself back on the junction of left and right, if you take a few steps forward you will be able to see much more clearly in each direction and this will help you be more confident in the choices you make. But many of you might be saying, how we will be sure it’s the right thing to do? Well we will never be 100% sure, but if we break things down as I mentioned earlier, then take some time to think through the options and start to listen to your Gut instinct feeling more secure about the decisions we have time to grow. Don’t get stuck in the loop of looking for the 100% as ourselves and our lives are not perfect so they won’t be a perfect answer, just the right answer with the knowledge we have today.  As we talked about in the blog hard its worse being stuck then it is doing anything else, so start to break down what your options are, putting pen to paper is a great, speaking to a supportive friend or family member may also help. You’re not on your own with this please never feel that way, it’s time to reach out and have that extra bit of support you need to help you feel sure about the choices you make; this is perfect in these hard times to ask for help. But remember don’t keep asking and asking for help this will only make you feel more anxious asking more about the situation is fine. Keep asking and people keep giving you the same answer is only feeding your fears not helping you move forward.

For many people it’s just about making those first steps out of the loop of insecurity into the new ways of thinking about the challenges that lay ahead are the most important for us. As this is a move forward and this means we’re no longer frozen in fear trapped in this loop, we are starting the process of change. Once we start moving it can help make us feel freer to move a bit more and then a bit more, steady steps are often best with change. Jumping from one thing to another isn’t often the best way to move forward either, it is about finding the balance between the two.  Never forget that we don’t know what’s coming and that you are making decisions based on the now and that is all any of us can do. 

Once we start moving out of a hard time, we can start to see thing more clearly and today is the day to take a step closer to this.  Thanks for dropping by Sara x

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