Last week we were looking at how hard life can be and how challenging ourselves to get these difficult things done as quickly as possible will help us move through the hard times much easier. As we will have to do those things at some time or another and the only thing, we are in control of is how long we choose to take to do this. I know these aren’t often our first choice but if we push through these hard things, we can then look to reward ourselves for having overcome these challenges. Being kind and gentle with ourselves is essential in the hard times, being soft and kind to ourselves doesn’t mean though helping us to avoid and put things off. Being that soft support for ourselves is for when we make it through, we can take the time to value ourselves. Loving and valuing who we are is essential in helping us to be more confident and in turn this will also help us deal with life’s challenges in a more secure, decisive and positive way. We all have to accept that life will have its ups and downs and finding our own inner support to help us work through these difficult challenges will be the best support we can ever have. This will not only help us through the hard times but will also be building our own inner safety and security which will then be with us in every area of our lives.
If things go wrong, we can often blame ourselves and take too much of the responsibility for what is going on. If we can find the right balance between ours, others and life responsibilities then we need to use this as the way we view the issue going forward. If things are in the right place then we can support ourselves through these hard times with self-compassion, inner strength and security which will be growing within you. Sometimes we can do the opposite though, we can beat ourselves up and put ourselves down which won’t help us move on, it will only hinder us is moving forward. Being soft and supportive to ourselves isn’t about letting ourselves of the hook or making us avoid the challenges of life it’s more about being true to ourselves over the reality of what life is like for us. Also, its about praising and supporting ourselves with kindness and the softness that comes with self-love and support.
How about taking time now to just value and support who you are, spend time and think about the qualities you have and the things you like about who you are. Of course, we have to accept we are not perfect but stop looking at the things that aren’t right or we would like to change and start looking at the things we love and like about who we are. If our confidence is low then we could find this hard, if so, how about asking a friend or family member to help you. They can help you focus on some of your great qualities and help give you that initial support to get you on the road of inner self confidence. This is not something we would need to continue to reach or search for as this would only negatively impact our confidence, but asking for the leg up to get ourselves going in the right direction can be the perfect first step. Being soft and supportive to who we are is a great way to help us find that deep inner love for who we are, this isn’t about having a big ego about who we are, as in hey everyone… just look at me. This is about being comfortable in our own inner strength, being our true personal supporter. With this new way of thinking and feeling we can quietly, confidently and securely start shinning from the inside out. Being good to ourselves is about not putting ourselves down or beating ourselves up with that negative inner chatter. That inner chatter if it is negative will be just making us hard and brittle inside which will make us feel fragile and vulnerable, like we could snap at any time. If this is you then all you are doing is just continuing to beat yourself up, if this is the case then it is time to stop this. Here is a great rule that you can use every day, and you can use it as a bench mark to help understand the best ways to speak to yourself on an inner level.
If you won’t say it to someone else, then don’t say it to yourself.
Being kind, gentle, soft and truly supportive is the way to be with ourselves and the people we love and value in our lives and it’s all about finding the right balance for this. We can’t put ourselves at the bottom of the pile or in fact at the top either, we have to be centred and that place should be in the middle, not too much or not too little is the key. Take the time to find this inner balance within yourself now and when you approach things in life, make sure you’re in this place and that you are being kind, soft and supportive to who you truly are. Everyday make sure you compliment yourself and send those soft supportive messages to yourself, over time this will help you develop your inner self love.
Give yourself a daily challenge to say something lovely to yourself and spend the day just a few times through the day reflecting on how you have this quality and send yourself those kind affirmations. Each day find something else to use, it doesn’t have to be a massive thing it could be just the quality of holding a door open for someone and valuing how nice it was of you to do this plus the positive impact this can have on the other person. Each day this positive self-reflections and affirmations will be sending that love and support you need, enhancing that inner self love and confidence.
Thanks for dropping by Sara x