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Contain

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Life can be very stressful and at these times we can often move into the zone of having to contain how we are feeling inside. This is a perfect way to help us deal in the situation but then it is essential that we find the right time to work through our feeling and emotions.  But if we are spending extended times dealing with life in this way, we are going to feel very stressed and overwhelmed.  It will be like standing on a manhole cover with the pressure of the water forcing its way up, this means we are using up lots of energy just containing these feelings. When really what we need to do is to stop and find a way to realise and come to terms with them.  The pressure of this can be very overwhelming at times and can be linked to increased anxiety, fatigue and low mood. If we have been this way for a while this can start to cause these negative issues to grow even more and we then not only feel the pressure of trying to contain these feelings but we can then start building up the fear of how on earth are we going to deal with them.

If you are feeling this way then now is the time to stop and take stock, if it’s something that is relevant for you then this blog has found you just at the right time. If it has been going on a long time then maybe you may need to seek some extra help from someone like myself to help you deal with everything you have been suppressing. I think as a society we are all taught to suppress things and in certain situations this is perfect, as we all can’t go around negatively reacting to things in ways that don’t suit the situations, we are in.  A hundred years when we were born and died in a twelve-mile radius we dealt with life’s challenges in different ways, and it was easy to do that as we knew most people due to the limited areas, we mainly lived in. People would have been more understanding of having others outbursts and negative reactions to things, as this was the way it was back then and it didn’t hold the same level of stigma it does now. Don’t get me wrong we can’t all rush around letting off steam wherever we are or whenever we want to, but we do have to understand that those feeling will not just miraculously go away. We need to acknowledge this and take the time to find appropriate ways of letting them out and coming to terms with them.

For lots of us with this containment strategy in place, we can feel afraid to deal with these feelings and often we go to great lengths to put of trying to work them through. For many of us we only get to the point of dealing with them when it feels more scarier to stay this way then it does to start to face these feelings and work them through. If we are at this point, then we are already overwhelmed by them all and these trapped feeling will be having a negative impact on our mood, anxiety levels, sleep and confidence to name a few. It’s like not putting the bin out over a while it starts to contaminate the rest areas around it and if left for too long it can contaminate the whole space its in. It’s time to work these trapped feelings through in safe way, firstly it might be good to put pen to paper and start to write about all the things you feel you are holding down. Once you have the list you can then start to work on some of the easier things first. Have that conversation with someone you have been putting off speaking to, sort out the issues at work that you have been pushing down and find a new way to deal with things or even a new job if that what it takes. Moving forward and making changes will enable you to feel more able to understand and connect to the emotions, and this will help it feel easier to release them. Also, by breaking things down it will help us feel less overwhelmed with them whole pressure of containment and finding working on smaller areas will feel safer and easier to do. We will start to release from the feelings which we are holding on to that aren’t just the past trapped emotions. They are of course a mixture of the past, but they are also the fears built up by avoidance and denial of them, which are now all mixed in there together.  As you take the time to acknowledge how you feel then then this is already starting the process of releasing the fears trapped by denial and avoidance.

Another great thing about looking at the contained and trapped emotions within you also stops them being blown out of proportion. If we leave are inner mind to its own devices it’s not going just sit patiently for us to return to deal with them, it’s going to start to find a direction to move in. For most of us with contained feelings this won’t be the best path forward as you mind is black and white about all matters. So, all your mind will be thinking is that it must be scarier that what you think or you wouldn’t be hiding from them, by putting off dealing with them and pushing them down inside you.  This being the case the big brother of your mind will only want to support you and keep you safe and to do that it will want to make you more afraid of these things because it feels that will keep you safe. This will just add to the melting pot of feeling making ever seem much worse than what it really is.

Now that you have a better handle on these trapped and contained feelings next week, we will be looking at ways that can help you continue the process of understanding and help more with letting them go.

Thanks for dropping by Sara x

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