Listen to me

Watch me

Over the last few blogs weeks we have been looking at things that have been getting in your way of building confidence, hopefully now that you have let go of a few of those bad habits now is the time to ripple out those new confidence building responses.  Confidence is a learned and developed habit so it’s about setting goals and letting your mind get used to living a confident life. As we live more confidently those inner sides of yourself will start to feel safer, the safer we feel the more we can start building up those inner feelings of confidence and security. Once we have that inner safety and security inside of you, every area of your life will transform, as you can then take those inner feelings with you wherever you go. Feeling safe inside is such a great feeling and it’s time to start to understand what this is like, it’s so much harder to change if we don’t fully know what were meant to be changing too.  

I would like you to think about one area in your life that you have confidence in or if you don’t feel you have any areas, then think about someone you know who is confident. Take that time to think how it feels to be confident in your work, as a parent, a friend, or any of the hobbies that you have.  Let’s imagine being a good parent is an area you have confidence in, think about how you respond if your child says ‘daddy can I eat that whole bag of sweets?’ You’re not going to be thinking, I daren’t say no, or is it right to take them off her, or what should I say?  You would be saying, no that’s too many sweets to have today lets us put some in a bowl and put the rest away for another day. It’s an instant reaction, you know you’re saying the right thing and you’re totally happy in saying this, this is what it is like to feel safe and secure in your decisions. Now you need to mimic this in other areas of your life and then you can push the ripple effect out to help your mind form those long-term habits of confidence.

The key thing with this is, is that in any situation you go into we must now do it with that confident secure stance, so that you are sending the messages of how you would be responding and feeling if you were safe and secure. There’s no what if’s, or worries, there’s no doubt, no worrying about what people would think, or fears of making a mistake or any insecurities either. I think for many of us our first response to a situation is normally the right one, it’s what we do after that, that is the problem.  In those everyday situations it is time to hold onto the first thought and push that ripple of confidence out over us then we can really enhance our confidence levels.  Like throwing a stone in the middle of a pond the effects travel out a long way from where the stone dropped in. If we drop in that positive response and just let it ripple out from us then the messages we are sending are of safety and security. Doing this will help our confidence grow and over time we will not even need to think about it, as it will have become totally natural to respond in this way.

The key is to make the strong choice or decision and stick with it, letting the ripples flow out, sending these secure messages to every part of you. What we can’t do any more is drop that stone in and then worry about it, oh was that the right thing to say, should I have done it differently, what will the response be from others. Then we end up driving in and pick it up again, so we can re look at our choices, this will only make the water choppy and the messages you will be sending out will be of fear not confidence.  When you have made that choice or decision then just follow it through, distract yourself from any insecurities and let the choice you made sink in.  This is how we already deal with the things we are confident about, so this is how we need to be in every area of our lives. Of course, if we have big decisions to make were not going to just jump in without proper reflection to the situation but in all those everyday things this is the way to be.   These new and confident messages are what your mind needs to hear and it already knows what they mean. Now your mind can expand this out into other areas of your life, securing into your mind that you are confident in what you are doing. Your mind knows all about being confident, it just doesn’t know how to do it with every situation in your life but by sending out the ripple of confidence your mind will instantly come back with the answer that this is a confident way of responding and will let that confidence grow deep within you.  The more we approach things in this way the more confident we will feel.

Start with easy things in your life as they will change quickly and as they do the ripples of the confidence with be felt throughout you. Once you have mastered that area move onto the next.  The confidence will breed and grow and the messages will be then sent deep within you that there is no need to worry that all is ok and that you can relax and feel safe and secure.

Write down your challenges, map your progress it great to look back and see just how far you have come. 

Thanks for dropping by Sara x

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