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We were talking last week about breaking those negative wheels of anxiety and worry and an important step in doing this is by being confident. Being confident will allow us to believe in ourselves and also help us to develop those inner feelings of safety and security right to the core of who we truly are. Being confident is a great feeling I have been insecure and I am now happily confident in who I am now, the difference this makes to us is something that is immensely powerful. Confidence is a learned and developed habit and it’s something that will be a great help if you’re working to be a better version of yourself or working to heal from your old anxiety’s and past issues.  It can be hard at times to become more confident about who you are, but when you do it will send such great positive messages to your mind, that you are safe and secure to be yourself. Often, it’s not because we can’t become more confident that we don’t, its mainly because we struggle to believe that we can. This old belief system message is super negative for us and is sending the messages of fear and insecurity to our minds, and then of course our mind will send out the patterns of fear, worry, anxiety, insecurity and lack of confidence.

The best place to start is to start by accepting those compliments which come your way, how many times have people said to you, you look nice and you say back what this old thing? Or you shrug it off.  What you’re doing in that moment is pushing away all that positivity and keeping yourself in the negative, insecure place. Maybe someone says to you, what a great job you have done and you say, it took me longer than I thought, or that it’s not perfect, but it will do. Again, you are pushing away all those great positive vibes because you don’t believe in yourself.  How are you going to become that confident person if you won’t take the compliments onboard? Well the answer is you won’t. It’s time now to start to take those compliments and own them as yours.  If someone was saying to someone you know, how well they have done, or how great they look, would you be rushing over to correct them? Would you be butting in with, well its old or that it’s not that much of an achievement, well again the answer is you won’t.  So why are you doing this to yourself? You deserve so much more and it’s time now to start to absorb all these positive things people are saying to you, to help you to build your confidence.

Sometimes people say to me, oh no I can’t be that way, I would hate to seen as being big headed and I wouldn’t want to be showing off in anyway. Being confident is not about being this way at all, being confident is often something we don’t shout about. If we are having to shout about it then I don’t think your fully confident, I think you’re trying to be confident by shouting about how you feel in the hopes that people will give you a compliment. Don’t get me wrong, I do think it’s good to share your successes with you family and friends but the key is that we feel safe and secure in just being who you are. Another thing people say when they are given a compliment, they just don’t know what to say, it’s easy you will be saying a lot less than before, as all you need to say is thank you.

Each time you accept a compliment your sending a massive message to yourself about who you really are and how you believe in yourself. This is amazing for your mind and the development of your confidence, pushing compliments away, makes your mind feel that this is not really you and of course you don’t get the added bonus of absorbing all of that positivity which comes with the compliment. Also remember that the person who is trying to give you this compliment has taking the time to think about who you are and what you have achieved, it’s only right that you accept this from them.   I know at first it will feel a bit alien to you and maybe at times you might forget and try and push the compliment away with one of those excuses, oh what this old thing…!! If you have done that then, when you are on your own you need to apologise to yourself and repeat the compliment for a few minutes to let it sink in.  If someone came and gave you a gift would you throw it back and say, no I don’t want it or even like that old thing, take it back…! No, you wouldn’t so now it’s time to stop doing this with the compliments you get in life, it’s time to take them, all you need to do is say thank you. 

To begin with you might feel a bit of a fraud taking those compliments and that’s ok you haven’t got to the stage where you believe them yet.  Over time you will start to feel more comfortable with the compliments and feel more natural in thanking people for them. Each compliment you absorb is another step towards truly becoming more confident. With that confidence starting to grow within you, that inner safety and security will start growing too. It’s a win, win, situation, it’s safe to do this and as time goes by you will be feel so much more confident and happier in all areas of your life.

In our part of the world it is truly amazing and we are experiencing this for the first time ever, that as everyday people we can truly be ourselves and love who we are on every level.  We don’t have to be the same as everyone else, we can be unique, we can be ourselves, wear what we like, have our own options, hopes and dreams. There are many other places in our world that people don’t have these privileges so don’t reject them, it’s time to embrace them. Make today the first day of the rest of your life that you take the compliments and embrace those inner sides of who you truly are, so that you can be that best version of yourself.

Thanks for dropping by Sara x