Being positive is a must and is something we should all strive to be, it enhances our mood, reduces stress and allows us to start seeing and attracting happier experiences into our lives. What we have to accept is that life will be challenging and we just can’t escape from that, but we can choose to approach things with as much positivity as possible. Striving to make the best of things is the key in all of this and not losing ourselves into the abyss of fear, worry and what ifs. Winston Churchill sums this up in a sentence, A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
For some of us though it may not come naturally and if this is the case its time to consider why this is and find a way to help you change and train yourself to have a more positive attitude. The first step is to believe we have a choice and not use things that make us feel that we’re out of control with our attitude. How many times we might have said to ourselves and others we’re unlucky, fated, doomed, a lost cause, nothing good happens to us, bad things always happen to us, were not a good person. All of these thoughts and negative beliefs will get in the way of you feeling positive so its time to not feel disempowered and blame these things, its time to make a choice on how you choose to feel and approach things. If you find yourself in a challenging situation, don’t try and point blame, spend that time to look for the best and most positive things you can. Even if it has to be a positive submission of what we can’t change, remember you are in control of your attitude and no one can take that away from you.
It’s also important to not let other people’s negative attitudes affect you either, we are never going to be happy all the time and things happen which may impact how we feel. But Debbie Downers in our lives can be a drain, so work to keep thing positive even if other people aren’t. Check out the Debbie Downers blog for more help and advice in helping you do this, but always remember we all make our own choices in life, choose to be positive. The only difference between you and a positive person is that they are always looking for the positive things and in turn, they may also be attracting these into their lives because of their positive approach to life. To help you be more like them it’s time to train your mind, start looking for all the positive things in your life, in every person, in every situation, there is something good. Most of the time it’s not obvious, but instead of spiralling down in worry you can spend time searching for positive things. Many times, we just get stuck on the first thing we find and then play that message out continually through our minds if we have a negative mindset at the moment this will be what our minds will be searching for first. There are other things out there, other ways to feel, think and respond don’t let your mind dictate to you with those old habits of negativity.
So now, when you’re faced with a difficult or challenging situation, think to yourself, what is good about this? No matter how terrible the situation might seem, there will be something good you can take from it, you just need to take the time to think about it. Everything, whether it is good or bad, is a learning experience so, at the very least, you can learn from bad experiences.
Now that you are starting to look for the positive things, it’s time to start to reinforce them, create a positive diary, take time every night to reflect on the positive things, this will help your mind to change those old pesky habits of being negative. Most of our negative habits are often about the worry of what will happen and of course, we don’t know what’s coming in the future, so distract away from those thoughts. If you need more help then go back and read the blog Don’t feed the cat and instead of feeding those negative fears just bat them away, remember practice makes perfect so keep with this, as an old habit takes time to break and new ones take time to form. Start with the things closest to home, how you talk to yourself, often when we are negative, we can be tough on ourselves, putting ourselves down and being negative to ourselves. Create a new rule for yourself if you wouldn’t say it to someone else then you can’t say it to yourself, if you have said something horrible start by apologising to yourself. It’s okay to not to like everything about yourself, but don’t focus on what you don’t like, focus on what you do. We all have positive attributes, and it’s up to you to remind yourself of them every day. Over time you can train yourself out of putting yourself down, this will really help to make you more positive overall.
Now that your feeling more positive about yourself and how you treat yourself, it’s time to start sharing this with other people. The best ways can be simple, be nice to other people, no matter what. Tell someone they look nice today, that they did well, that you are proud of what they have achieved. Let your family and friends know how much you love them, send them cute notes and find things to laugh about together. Try and keep away from gossip this can of lead to negative things, bring your conversations around to fun things you have done or things you are planning to do. Be kind to every living thing and try and do one good deed a day, its doesn’t have to be a big thing even just letting someone out in front of you while driving in the car is a good deed.
It’s time to be supportive and encouraging to everyone in your life, treat others how you would like to be treated and of course, treat yourself in this way too. People will appreciate this but don’t look for this, give selflessly, the more you do this the more natural it will become. Everything you do no matter how little is a step forward, over time you will form new habits, it will make you and everyone else around you feel much happier.
Believe in yourself and remember the most important lesson of all, having a positive outlook is a choice that you have made and chose to make this a new permanent habit in your life.
Thanks for dropping by Sara x