Let’s have a look at how our old beliefs and patterns can be really off balance, this could be down to the pain, pleasure and reward system being negatively set. Here’s an example of how easily these imbalances can happen, if as children we have been rewarded with a biscuit when we have fallen over and hurt ourselves, this message could be still stuck in our minds. Also, if our parents lived this way too, then this would make it worse as we would not only have experienced and embedded the behaviour ourselves, we will have also seen our parents doing the same. What has happened is that we have associated biscuits with pain relief, so any painful situation that comes along we get drawn to biscuits. If we then end up putting on weight because of it, we may start to feel that being overweight is an emotionally painful experience for us, if this is the case guess what, we want another biscuit to quell the pain of it. This process can get compounded over the years with this distorted belief, how hard will it be to give up the biscuits. Actually, for some people, it can be very hard to let this type of habit go, as the messages are so distorted within us. If we give up the biscuits and deny ourselves the comfort of this, we will feel the pain of not having the comfort of the biscuit and then that pain message is associated with having a biscuit becomes stronger. The message then drags your thoughts to that of the biscuit and so what wins? The biscuit or your will power. This type of imbalance is often connected with food and eating and the fear of facing life without that support often wins over the desire to change and be slim.
Here is another example where the pain pleasure and reward system can be reset but at what cost to our health and happiness. What if you have been overeating for years and given up all hope of changing, but then you have a heart attack. This could be the trigger you need to blow the old pain pleasure and reward pattern out of the water and for many people they change. This is because the fear of not changing is outweighed by the fear of the pain of dying, so the old issues of pain, pleasure and reward get broken. Do we really want to leave change till this late? Or is it time we start to look at the habits and find ways to change the balance of pain pleasure and reward. We don’t only have to change with the negative reward, we also change with positive rewards and rebalance, we just have to have the right motivation for us to change. The other option is to find someone like myself to help you reset this imbalance and change the negative patterns you are holding over your pain pleasure and reward beliefs.
This can also happen for other things in our lives, not just food, if we want to get an assignment done for work or our studies, maybe we put it off and off until you have to do it. If you don’t do it, you will fail, so the pain of failure is bigger than the fear of trying and possibly failing. This will make your studies very stressful, as you will be living in denial finding every excuse under the sun why you can’t do the assignment today which will give you an underlying level of stress. Your deadline is looming, and you get more and more stressed because it’s not done, you just can’t seem to do it, then it gets to the point that you have to, or you will fail without submitting your work. At that point, something changes, and that new fear takes over and the dynamic of your pain, pleasure and reward system has just shifted.
You are in an unhappy relationship but you fear to be on your own and so you end up putting up with all sorts of things which doesn’t make you happy, but the pain of having to be on your own keeps you stuck. It is only when it’s more painful to stay than it is to live on your own. I could go on and list lots of different things that show how our pain, pleasure and reward system can be out of balance and work against us. Its time to look more clearly and honestly with your life and the choices you make, are you just being driven by a situation which gives you the least pain? Do you think this is allowing you to be the best version of yourself? Or to live your life to your full potential? Are your pain, pleasure and reward systems out of balance? Have you ever thought about your life in this way?
These are all very important questions that you should start to ask yourself, as until we are living as opening and honestly in our lives and are truly striving to achieve our dreams we maybe just living the life of least pain. Our lives are very complicated, and it can be so easy to not see things in their true light, but maybe it is time now to do this. Life is precious and it’s no fun living our lives in these states of pain and fear, these types of issues can just lead us in circles and over time they can knock our confidence. Many of our beliefs in life are set when we are very young, and these pain pleasure and reward systems are mainly set in this early learning phase. The biggest first step in all these issues is accepting that we are behaving and feeling this way and until we do this we are just driven by these base instincts.
Everything in life can be changed but if we are not prepared to own how we are behaving and responding, then it is impossible to change. Things which have pain at the base of them will seem much bigger as they are being driven by fear, when you stop and face them it will start the process of releasing you from this pain and fear.
Start today, be honest with yourself and make your life happier and more fulfilled.
Thanks for dropping by Sara x