We have talked a lot over the last few weeks about the habits and patterns that can limit us, now it’s time to bring the focus back onto you. We have to always to be real with ourselves and not let denial or any level of non-acknowledgement to what we are doing, or not doing, get in our way. We need to see things clearly and if we’re not sure, we can just stop and think of someone who isn’t suffering from our issues and if they are not doing some of the things we find ourselves doing, then maybe we need to rethink this. We need that confidence to grow so that we can help ourselves to be the best version of ourselves and liberate ourselves from the restraints of these horrible unwanted bad habits and issues. We can, of course, get help, but the best person to help you will be yourself, committing time to change and supporting this new positive lifestyle is essential.
Our mind works primarily on an input and output way to how it functions, so if we need to feel more positive we need to fill our lives with as much positivity as possible. We can just wish for this, but we do really have to make this real and bring it into the now and into our lives. So you could listen to positive, motivational speakers, have daily affirmations, surround ourselves with positive people and do everything we can to be absorbing as much of this as possible. If we only half commit to things then we will only get half the result we want, also if we want to change but can’t be arsed (CBA) then again, we will not get what we want. If this is the case, then your better to start looking at the parts of you that CBA and work to make those sides of you better, then move on to the main goal you’re wanting to achieve. Trying to reach too high with your goals will again leave us often wanting and all it will do is make us feel a failure if we don’t achieve this, this will not then be any help at all in achieving those new goals in our lives.
We also need to not to be too hard or too soft on ourselves, it’s about finding that right balance, if we don’t push ourselves hard enough we don’t change or if we do it can be very slow, and this can lead to us to giving up. Or if we push too hard and then we can’t do it, we can then move back into the failure cycle. This is where we need to trust our instinct and work to push ourselves out of the comfort zone or the fear zone however we choose to call it. Making steady smaller steps is best, so I would set a daily challenge and then one bigger weekly challenge to just help keep us moving forward. Often it is good to put pen to paper and write this down, setting goals and challenges are good, also you can also keep a positive journal to plot all your successes. The harder you work the quicker you will change, keeping that positive mindset is essential so don’t expect too much of yourself. We will never not fail, or not feel uncomfortable or not feel that we could or are slipping back, this is normal, what we can’t do is beat ourselves up over it, it will only bring us down which won’t help.
If we think about being in the place where we are feeling we are slipping back, just stop and think about this, it’s a good thing, because we are actually acknowledging that we are not stuck where we were and that we have changed. The fear of slipping back is one of the latter stages of change it means we are in a better place and what we now need to do is maintain it or keep moving forward. This would be a good time to shake up the daily and weekly goals because I guess by now you may well have become less focused on those as you would have been feeling better. Make a new plan and start pushing forward again, anything in life can and often does take hard work, so don’t give up success is just around the corner.
It’s also good to take the time to reward yourself on your achievements, in your goal setting you could set an achievement awards for yourself, you are your own coach and trainer so have some nice things up your sleeve for yourself. Taking that time to praise and reward yourself, this will help your self-esteem and confidence grow too, your mind will start thinking maybe she does love me after all. This is great for that inner confidence which is essential for developing a calmer, happier life. If we feel safe and secure inside everything we do, we will approach it with that inner safety and security within us. The majority of anxiety-free people will all have this inner safety and security too, so being good to yourself, praising and rewarding yourself, will help your inner self to grow in confidence.
If we are having a few bad days then take the time to relax more, set some affirmations and maybe take time to watch something funny or do something that makes you laugh. If your feeling frustrated or angry drive around the block in the car with the music on loud and have a scream. If you’re feeling sad don’t swallow it down again, watch a sad movie or something emotive for you, and let the feelings out, you will feel so much better for doing this. We have to admit we are feeling this way and not live in denial over this. The more we do this, the more our inner mind will feel listened too, if we are listening to ourselves we will feel happy and that inner safety and security will grow too.
Being honest, I think we’re all a work in progress and that’s ok, if we didn’t challenge ourselves, we would limit what we can truly achieve. Our lives are blessed for the first time ever that we get to choose our own lives and make a massive personal impact on the lives we lead. This doesn’t come by just hanging around waiting for it to happen, it comes with dreams, desires, goals, drive and a good plan.
Let today be the day you push the boundaries of your own existence and feel how good it is to listen to your true inner voice and enjoy taking those next safe steps forward.
Thanks for dropping by Sara x