Life is complicated and it can be easy to get influenced by the people around us and the environment we are in. This is great if we are surrounded by positive up beat people who support us selflessly, and we are then able to give the same level of support back. This is the ultimate option for all of us, but we do know that this is not likely and we have to accept that other people’s moods may not be in a positive place for us.
Mood hoovers have this negative attitude which can seem to suck the soul out of you and not in a good way. These people can just drain you of all positivity through their need to be negative and moody. If they aren’t whinging they’re not happy…which is the irony! So here comes the mood hoover, I wonder what they have to whinge about today. You can find mood hoovers everywhere, including at work, home, socially and even just waiting for the bus. They are always pessimistic and critical, draining the energy out of everyone around them. Don’t get me wrong, we all have our bad days and it is quite fine to express ourselves to the people we live and work with, but mood hoovers tend to be permanently negative. This can affect everyone they come into contact with, yours and other people’s mood and our overall performance in whatever situation this is in. Whether we are at work, home or even the gym, if we are with a mood hoover then this can be stopping us from being the best version of ourselves and also it could be stopping us from achieving our goals. So how can you defuse a mood hoover and pull the plug on their problematic behaviour? Here are a few ways to stop mood hoovers from negatively impacting your life.
Mood hovers are all destructive, but to varying degrees and in different ways, they are usually critical of everything, painfully dramatic or completely convinced of having more burdens than anyone else. If you know someone who is a mood hoover when interacting with them will often leave you feeling exhausted or frustrated. The first step to stopping these people’s behaviours from affecting you is to identify who they are, so take some time to think about people in your life and the ones that are affecting you in this way. Once you know who these people are it is important to start to limit the time you spend with them, this will help to minimise their negative influence on you, your work, your life or exercise plans, in fact whatever area of your life they are in. It’s of course impossible to avoid them completely, be aware of where you typically encounter them and limit your interaction with them.
This doesn’t mean that you should merely escape the problem, as mood hoovers tend to constantly interrupt others for help, to try and solve their own problems. So, learning to say no to them, and instead encourage them to work through their problems. Helping mood hoovers to become more self-reliant can help them improve and flourish on their own terms. This will not only help you but will help them become better people, as being stuck in that negative pattern as a mood hoover is very destructive for them too. If you continue to placate their behaviour it will only stop them from moving from this pattern and change will help you both feel better.
Working on doing the opposite will help to promote a positive environment, emotions are contagious you will have felt this from the mood hoovers, so start your own flow of emotions and make them positive. If there is a negative person at work, you have the power to reverse their mood polarity. Don’t underestimate the power of positive words and actions it could easily improving their outlook on work by projecting more optimism at the office. It has to start from someone so let the person that changes this be you, it will show you have the strength and also be a great boost for your confidence, it can set off a domino effect of confidence and positivity.
Don’t feed the beast, no matter how frustrating their behaviour can be, do not respond to mood hoovers by sharing your own negative comments with them, because that is what they thrive on. This will not only have a negative effect on you, but will feed their habit too, also you are becoming a mini version of them. It not who you are so say no to those desires. Don’t feel that you need to reciprocate or empathise with them if their negativity is getting out of hand. The best way is to distract them from their negativity and work on changing the subject, or else look for something positive to say related to what they are complaining about.
Give them the space they need to change, as the only person who can change the negative behaviour of a mood hoover is themselves. Taking it upon yourself to try and change them for the better will only lead to more issues emerging, this can impact your energy levels as well as your mood. For all you know they might simply enjoy being mood hoovers, but it might also be their own problematic way of dealing with stress. If your attempts to encourage them to be positive are a waste of your time, the best way is to lead by example and show them how good it is to be positive. If you do give them time to breathe in your positivity, eventually over time, it might click for them that being this way is out of date and it’s time for a change to the positive side of life.
Challenge their behaviour calmly and don’t make this a battle between the positive and negative moods it will only cause conflict and for mood hoovers this is often just like giving them a bullet to put in their gun to fire back at you. Generating conflict, is the last thing you want to bring into any area of your life so keep calm.
If there is a situation you can help them with then do, be the good person than can turn the other cheek at the negatively and just look at the problem at hand and find a solution this could help them overcome their frustrations too. Also, it’s important to understand that they might genuinely not even be aware of their behaviour’s effect on the people around them. It doesn’t mean that you need to not work with them or stop being their friend but It’s more about putting yourself in their shoes, and recognising how your positivity can help them get on the same page as you.
Make today a positive day and let positivity be the winner in your mood, let this shine out onto the people around you creating a positive contagious response.
Thanks for dropping by Sara x