Do you find yourself unable to sleep as you are worrying about what’s been happening that day or what’s coming tomorrow? Do you worry about the smallest things? Do you blow things out of proportion? Do you feel unable to concentrate and focus on things because your anxious? Do you feel on edge if things don’t go as planned, teary and emotional from anxiety? Or do friends and family comments on how much you worry? If this sounds like you maybe you are a serial worrier and you have let your worry habit spiral out of control.
Ask yourself if it is a real problem? Or just an irrational fear or thought? Is it someone else’s problem? If its someone else’s problem of course, we can all have empathy for other people and there will always been challenges in our lives, but if we can’t change or alter it worry isn’t going to help. In fact, your worry would only stop you from being calmer and would only hinder your ability to help yourself and others as well.
Worry won’t help your problems it just makes things worse as now you’re stressed as well.
We are all different just like our DNA, this blog is about helping you understand what type of worrier you are. Understanding what drives us, can make changing much easier, if you haven’t already read the blog series called The Cat there is lots of information which can help you break these habits of worry. Many things in our lives lead us to feel the way we do, we have talked lots about the history of who we are and now we begin to look at the experiences we have had in our lives which shape us to be the way we are. If we could see ourselves like a layer cake and we are the sum total of every experience we have had in our lives. Each experience is another layer of our own unique cake, some layers are just wafer-thin others massive sections.
Some of us have more obsessive sides to our personalities than others, sometimes we may have grown up around these experiences and we have copied these patterns and mirror them in our lives. Or this may come from experience or experiences which we felt out of control in and these have left a lasting impression on how our mind is now functioning. I feel if we have had one or both of these life experiences, then they could have created a basis for these worry habits that we now feel out of control with. Just like a serial drinker we have to understand that a serial worrier has those same traits, the biggest one being once we start we can’t stop.
If you’re a serial worrier- once you start you can’t stop so have zero tolerance to your worries
If this ring’s true with you, then it’s time to start the process of reclaiming your life, living this way is horrible as it can cause lots of extreme anxiety, just like being a serial drinker we don’t have a cut of point. If we have thick layers of our life that have these obsessive out of control experiences, they can pull us back to these patterns / habits and the more we have pushed our habits of worry to the extreme the more out of control we can feel. Think about the analogy of being an alcoholic; the more we drink, the more we want to drink, the more out of control we feel, the bigger our drinking habit becomes. This is just the same as a serial worrier our worry habits spiral out of control and the more anxious and out of control we feel. Of course, we can stay the way we are but why would you? It’s time to accept the past for what it is and start to understand that what was happening back then isn’t happening now. We need to stop and take stock of our lives and start to take control, if our past experiences are still impacting our day to day lives then maybe seek more professional help.
We can change and let go of our past I know this from my own personal journey and I have let go of my negative past, embracing my past to make a positive impact on how I live my life in the now. I do accept I am an obsessive person, so zero tolerance is the way for me and using these obsessive tendencies to focus on being healthy and happy is a great way to channel myself. If you keep telling yourself you’re out of control you will only reinforce these patterns, always remember it is your life, you’re not living in the past and it’s safe to let go and live in the now. If your obsession and worry is an issue for you, then the only way is to have a zero-tolerance rule, as once you start it’s hard to stop. It would be like trying to stop an alcoholic from drinking mid binge! It’s very hard but if you don’t start you can use your all or nothing tendencies to your advantage. But being proactive will help, all the time you were spending sitting and worrying about something could have been used to actually solve the problem and if you can’t do anything to solve it then it’s time to forget it.
Do something to help the situation or if there isn’t an answer- let it go
If we stay focused on the past or worry about what could happen in the future, when it is something we can’t control, we will always stay stuck in these obsessive patterns and it’s not a good way to live. Accepting who we are helps us take back the control in our lives, if we live in denial over this we will always be trying to change and that’s no fun. We can’t change the past and the futures not here yet, all we can have is the moment if we continue living with the obsessive worry patterns then the moment is going to be horrible.
Say no today and take control, accept who you are and use distraction to help break those patterns of obsessive worries. Just like an alcoholic every day is a zero-tolerance day, but after a few weeks the old patterns will be fading and the new positive patterns will be forming.
Thanks for dropping by Sara x
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